That's what I Said! vol. 3

Amazon.com: Red Flags: How to Know When You're Dating a Loser (9780452281172): Gary S. Aumiller, Daniel Goldfarb: Books:

'via Blog this'


Someone...no, many actually, if you care to type in "red flags" in the search at amazon...beat me to it. LOL 


 I have thought for years, maybe I could write a book helping women catch and respond to "red flags" during their dating years.  My credentials?  Simply recognizing them in friends' relationships when they did not (to myself, not feeling comfortable sharing with them...is that bad? sigh) and later down the road, after divorce or conflict, hearing them say "Well, I saw a few red flags, but..."  and a myriad of excuses they told themselves, like "I thought he would change" or "I thought *I* could change him" or "I just thought he was having a bad day."  And so many more.  (Yes, this happens to guys w/ their girl mates too...but my perspective is obviously geared toward my chicas :P)  Plus...I think I picked a pretty good winner myself :)  Okay, I'm not writing this to brag though....honestly I'm not.  Heck, I'm not saying that I am perfect, or my "winner" is (well, he is...hi, honey, love you!) but.... I just have wondered why so many women, ...women especially that I care very much about, and consider very intelligent...can not see what seem to be glaring red flags?  Or...why they choose to ignore them?  Obviously, the answer can vary...and can be deep-seated (did ya' think that should be "deep-seeded"?  find out why not here :) and personal. 


 But I've wondered if having a book out there would affect change, and help some women.  Well...then I think: if they are choosing to ignore it, they aren't going to go looking for a book about it, now are they?  No, but maybe if it were on the Barnes and Noble bookshelves in glaring and bold red letters, they would LOL :P


I actually had a few short-lived experiences in my "dating career", too, where I chose to ignore,...simply so that I could say I WAS in a relationship...and not be lonely.  But I KNEW what I was doing...and  though I feel very ashamed for "using" several guys...some "nice" guys even...for my own selfish gain, the truth is...I knew very quickly when there was a red flag, and that the relationship was going no where (meaning marriage) and that I would end it, eventually.  Sad to say.  And again, I'm not boasting... I could have easily said to myself (and I did try to say this with at least one relationship before I met Doug) "Well, I'm never going to find my PERFECT guy, I'm just going to have to settle."  And I would have been stuck in an unhappy marriage, trying to "make the best of it." 


 There, but by the grace of God, go I.


  And I possibly would have experienced divorce down the road, because (especially in the Protestant mindset I was accustomed to) having "awoken" to the fact that it had "not been God's will in the first place", and having convinced myself it was okay to "break up" and "move on," it would have been easy.  Afterall, there IS no (sense of) SACRAMENT and covenant (with God) in most marriages.  And even when there is, people will use the excuse that they did not understand it as so or simply make sinful mistakes. 


 It's a sad state of affairs.  Like 50% divorce rates??  Our own little southern county has one of the highest divorce rates in the country.  And I've seen friends and family dropping like flies in the divorce zapper.  Not funny, absolutely depressing.  (And too, of course, I had NO sense of vocation either, or that there were legitimate other choices, like even besides single-hood, actual Vocations to celibacy and religious life.  Wow!  I used to worry about that for my children, after first converting, but now I PRAY hard for their vocations, and pray that God will use them for ministry and religious life!  But I digress... :)


So, my newest and best solution to the whole thing?


  Well, besides adhering to CHURCH teaching and just honoring your Sacramental commitment no matter what??  Is teaching Humanae Vitae and  Theology of the Body to everyone.  I'm not sure how to do that....secretly hide it in something secular and distribute to all the schools?  LOL  No... though, I do have a theory that truly Classical education, including a deeper understanding of the study of Philosophy and more specifically, Natural and Moral Law, is what is needed to help convert the world to Catholicism.  I mean, for Protestants, who already believe in God/Trinity/Resurrection/etc....it's a mere study of accurate History and early Church Fathers.  But, beyond that, regarding our biggest moral issues of the day, I think it's Philosophy.  Understanding our Hedonistic ways, then why there is a need for Order out of Chaos, and finally the need for Moral Truth proceeding out of Natural Law and ending with the only ONE TRUE answer:  there is a God, and He did all that stuff in the Bible, plus established His Church on earth called the Catholic Church. :)  


Yes, that's a not-so-good synopsis from my 2 a.m. brain, but do you get my drift?  It's what happened to this well-known blogger.  And I see it needed so much for my New Age/Wiccan/Pagan professing friends too (mostly women btw.)  And...in this not only Hedonistic, but extremely "Tolerant", anything-goes society.  Hmm. That's not the exact words I am looking for, but anyhoo... someone probably already said all of this way better than I, too.  If I find it, I will post it.


So to recap... I guess the world doesn't need another self-help, "red-flag reader" (especially from me lol) ...but rather, it needs conversion. 


 O Mary, Queen of Heaven, pray for us!

Realization vol. 2

Um...I've always had 20/20 vision (from my Dad, unlike my Mom w/ lots of eye issues,) but I knew that EVENTUALLY like say, in my late 40s or 50s, I might need reading glasses or something for a little "help."  But 37???  Okay, maybe I'm not ready for that much help yet.....but I just discovered a few nights ago that....I may....be ...gulp...getting some near-sightedness...or wait is it far-sightedness, I get them mixed up.  Um, yep...it's a kind of far-sightedness.  Interesting wiki-reading here.   I apparently have "elder-eyes" now, and it generally starts after age 40...I just love being ahead of my time, don't I?  Ugh.  So anyway,  I had a bottle of something, reading the back of it...smallish print...and thought I'd test my eye sight a little.  I moved it closer and closer to my eyes.  Well, first, backing up...I have been experiencing what I guess is "eye strain" some, from all of my "screen time" I'm sure.  And the past several years, I've been developing some "night vision", especially if it's raining and nighttime and I'm driving.  But, nothing big.  Still, I had friends recently talking about their new "mid-life" bi-focals and eyes changing.  So...I knew that my Dad had pretty good vision, but got reading glasses later on.  I thought I'd just test things out.  Well, as I moved the small print on the back of the bottle CLOSER to me, my eyes went out of focus.  I thought, eh...maybe they are just crossing, and I tried to blink/strain to keep them from doing it.  Didn't help.  Blurred words.  SO ...I put on the pair of reading glasses that I'd acquired and used in the teen's mystery dinner theater (I must tell you about that some time, it was so great!) when I "played" a minor role as a tour guide... Miss Hortence ...McBride ? (blanking on her last name)...the scullery maid.  ANYHOO.... they were the 3.00+ kind (!?) and voila...I could see the words clearly, slightly magnified.  EEEEK!  I kept testing it over and over.  Okay, granted...most of the time ...well let's see..... RARELY do I HAVE to read something small print and THAT CLOSE to my eyes.  I mean,  we're talking 6 or so inches maybe?  I don't know, maybe more...especially with smaller print than I was looking at.  I will test it more, but it still ....didn't feel good.  LOL  I mean, I wore those reading glasses to help make me look OLDER...geesh!  Yk, the old "school marm" thing, with them on your nose....see for yourself, below. (and try not to laugh too hard out loud :P)  Sigh.  (more Vanity! ) I suppose it's "que sera sera" eh?  :P  But I shouldn't complain...I certainly don't have the eye issues hubs and son do...or I'm not completely "there"  yet, anyway. :P

h3 vol. 5

h3

heart-felt

So, as I've been saying, we had the trip to see family for our "vacation" (see me doing the quotations with my fingers every time??) and yes, it's a long trip and there are always issues, but this was one of our best visits for many reasons.  We just relaxed and had no pressure on us, we just were ourselves, and Mariam was great.  We got to see everyone pretty much, and I even started to learn how to knit.  My sister-in-law who was teaching me is going to set up Skype so we can skype with my parents, but I think I'll try to get my knitting stash going and see if she can work on lessons with me and Jillian that way some times LOL  Anyway, here's hoping our Christmas bi-annual trip goes as well... :)  Yk I'll be letting you know. :P  

heart-fourth

Notice I didn't add any Fourth festivities to my 7 Quick Takes like most others?  Because it was pretty event-less.  You can imagine how tired we were from all of our travels.  And it was a little rainy, and did I mention we were tired.   Doug did grill a mess of meat and we hung out with family, and oh yeh, remember the kids were popping firecrackers while I fretted. :P  But it was nice just to relax and lay around and be with the other side of the family some.  I didn't get any of my cutesy red, white and blue type dessert recipes made though.  Bummer.  Well, there's always...another year. :P  Gee, the more I blog the more boring we sound. LOL  We do enjoy ourselves though, together. LOL

heart-fun

It was back to the pool on our last day of said "vacation" today :)  No pics, maybe tomorrow I will catch some of our sunburns...eesh.  We always think we have enough sunscreen on, and miss spots.  We always forget to re-apply.  But...regardless, we had a lot of fun...again...together.  Just our little fam.  And we have a LOT of fun planned with church activities coming up beginning this week...so stay tuned.  As always, from my heart to yours....

7 Quick Takes Friday vol. 4

I personally feel like my 7 Quick Takes are a little more interesting this week.  I know I sure am T-I-R-E-D from all of this past week's adventure!  So, as you may or may not remember, it was "vacation" time... i.e., bi-annual trip to see family, yadayada...

1. Driving from Alabama to Louisiana on a 10 hour (one way) trip and back TWICE in a week's time was not planned, and not for "fun" reasons, but there were blessings from it all.  Like getting extra time with family we didn't even previously have time to see, and then precious-to-me time alone to talk Doug's ear off (with no kids, it was very reminiscent of the early years, though we talked a lot more about finances and, well, kids than theology :P)   This is a pic of going through Mississippi, which I guess I've concurred through the years, is my fav leg of the trip.  Even though Mississippi was always Louisiana and Alabama's saving grace from being last on all the worst lists LOL, there has always been something about it when we traveled through to me.  Darker green and closer tree lines as seen here, plus these rocky walls and hills along the Interstate that made you feel as if you were maybe near mountains (though nothing could be farther from it LOL)  And then, of course the Mississippi Bridge, which I will have to tell you about my long-time childhood nightmare related to it some time.....

1. cont'd, ...  Um,...about that Miss. bridge.  I EVEN set my alarm on my phone (too early) so that I would remember to take a good pic of it, argh!  You'd think 4 times over it, I'd get ONE.  Sigh..  This one was a last ditch attempt backwards... Well, anyhoo, you can google images of it ....there are more than just the one over I-20 of course, going on up through out the states.  Lots of history there.  But I found an interesting book and unit study here  that sounds good.  Might add that into our American History studies this year.  It certainly taints the "feel" for Miss. I had growing up (with little knowledge of the history and racial issues)....but, there's always hope.  Doug and I have actually talked a lot about race issues lately.  As kids in the 70s and 80s, we just did not fully realize how CLOSE we were to the horrible American racial past.  Even when we were finally told in history class, it seemed ages ago and time to "move on."  Well, now being older, and knowing how quickly time flies, yet how connected we are to recent past history...wow!  No wonder people are still bitter.  Such shameful inhumane things done in such "modern" and "civil" a society.  It's hard to fathom.  And teaching about slavery and the Civil War to my children has been SO. HARD.  It's been a loss of innocence for them.  They were growing up so protected from that, it was unimaginable that just in their grandparents' time was separation and second-class human treatment.  DISGRACEFUL.  SAD. EVIL.  And yet, while they thankfully look at their bi-racial, different skin-toned cousin with NO DIFFERENCE what-so-ever.....we know full well in this world we live in, in this region especially, and even among family members.....racism lives on.  I am sure that my children are not done "learning" about such evils.  But I keep praying that their generation will eradicate all of it.  But....I digress....again....

2.  So the main reason for the visit in the first place?  Family.  Actually, some years it's been more annual than bi-annual, due to lack of funds or busy schedules, but here's my parents.  (Not knowing they are on the 'net won't hurt them right?)  Mom looked really good for all the horrible pain she's suffered and 2 major major surgeries in less than 6 months, at age 77.  And here's the "gift" Mariam gave them:

2. cont'd....:)  She's finally started adding eyes and limbs and smiles and hair to her figures she draws,...and I think  her artistic expression must surely be influenced by the likes of Yo Gabba Gabba or something LOL  What do you think? :P  But I have been really proud of our little girl the past few months.  This was her best behaved visit and trip, and then this morning in Mass, a special Mass we happened upon in a neighboring city, as to not be in our home parish on "vacation" (as to not be bombarded due to our jobs there LOL)...where the ARCHBISHOP happened to be installing a new priest to that parish... she was SO GOOD in that tiny little parish during his sermon and really the entire Mass, for her.  We didn't have to go out once with her.  But I digress.... :)  But I just talked to my mom tonight and she remarked how much they enjoyed her, how sweet she was, how loving.  It's true...she was very careful and loving with Grandmama, helping her to bed at bedtime LOL  That girl has passion, no matter what she's doing, no matter which emotion...just catch her when it's loving instead of angry :D  

3. So, our Mass away from home last week was at a parish that was not our home-parish when we lived there, but one we did visit often (other side of town) because a) we loved it and b) it was the latest "last chance" Mass in town LOL  Sad but true.  Anyway, we had not seen it since they did a massive remodel of the Church.  One word:  A-MAZING!  No two: BEAUTIFUL.  No, three: ETHEREAL!  I can't help but say I do wish our parish now had taken more of this kind of direction.  I love love love our parish now, and the new Sanctuary, etc, but...still....Anyhoo, you can see more of how it looked previously and the remodel here. 

4. After Mass, we drove down to the little beautiful chapel where we were married.  Yes, this amazing  little structure with quite an interesting history was the beautiful setting for our wedding.  We have an equally amazing drawing that an old school friend did of it and gave us, that I'll post some time.  You can also see the lovely altar in the background of our wedding photo here.  I also have more pics from it I intend to post in the future, of the church...something "different" and unique.  But for now,... the kids loved seeing it....

4. cont'd 

5. Next, after being in more 100+ degree 99% humidity weather, we just "had" to stop by the  nearest Circle K and get a Big Gulp and Icee...who knew they had Dr. Pepper flavor now....ahhhh.  (This was before I committed to the Virtual 5K right?  Of course last night's movie popcorn wasn't....sigh....)  

6. As I said, our trip took some surprising turns.  Well, ONE in particular LOL  Our van suddenly died as we were going 70 mph down the Interstate with 18 wheelers all around.  Thankfully we were able to safely coast to the very close next exit and check things out.  Long story short, a mechanic said the Engine was shot and we couldn't drive it home.  We stayed w/ my brother and his family overnight and drove a nice rental home.  NICE to us.  LUXURY to our kids LOL  They longed to "keep" the rental, which was a 2012 Dodge Caravan.  Here are the happy campers on our way back home.  Who knows, maybe one day we CAN get that van...say, in 10 years LOL 

6. cont'd....And then, Doug and I took a return (10 hr one way) trip to pick up the van with FIL's truck.  This was our view on the way back.  Funny story:  (and he told this publicly himself, so I'm okay here lol)  I was on the phone and suddenly Doug started laughing SO HARD.  I had NO IDEA what he was laughing at, but it was SO FUNNY watching him laugh that hard, that I had to join in.  Then, when he finally was able to tell me what it was, we laughed so hard we couldn't breathe.  He was driving along and suddenly thought, hey why is that van all up on my rear-end...oh...wait...LOL  Sleep deprived, let me tell ya!  Did I mention I killed Doug's phone?  I had been charging them in the van, mine and his.  I laid them on top of that there tool box in the pic, while we were hooking up the van, and when he went to drive it around the block to test the hook-up on the car dolley, I totally forgot....he drove around a curve, and swish!  His smashed to bits on the ground, couldn't even find the battery.   Mine just lay there :P  Who knows. LOL Thankfully insurance has a new one coming in already tomorrow...woot woot! 

7. Ah, l'amore!  Our puppy Belle (lovingly cared for by a family friend) missed us as much as we missed her, in case you can't tell. :P

So, that was my not-so quick takes from this past week, a wee bit late, and no fancy smartphone picture apps applied...but maybe next week :P  Am I getting any better at this???  Well, for more Quick Takes, go to Conversion Diary .  Thanks Y'all! :)

Update/Review of Brave

Well, we made it home and had a lovely evening (excepting a certain puke incident that shall never be spoken of to protect the innocent :p)..... Girls went to Brave, Boys went to the new Spiderman.  Perhaps I can bribe...er, convince Doug to do a review of it some day.  But anyhoo... so, we skipped supper to be able to enjoy our large popcorn and coke, a very rare treat.  With free refills, we were stuffed.  (And, that is all I have to say about that.)  Mariam actually was her best ever in this movie, than any other movie in the theater she's been to...her behavior, her "stillness" LOL...she was really into the movie, thankfully. And it helped that we finally saw and used a booster seat they had for children...she loved that. (And somehow we got our potty time done before the movie started! woot woot!)  She got a little scared in a few parts, but nothing major.  Jillian loved the movie.  And it was pretty good.  I did cry a little teeny tiny bit.  I can't help myself,...I always can personalize it.   I mean, honestly, I wasn't impressed with the movie as much as I'd expected to be.  I don't fully know why, but I will say there were 2 main things I didn't like so much.  The first, I knew was coming: the whole "find your destiny, follow your fate" thing, but mainly in how it must always DEFY our parents or REBEL.  Yeh, I know...old common theme, yada yada....  it wasn't too bad, but if Mariam had been paying too close attention LOL She doesn't need any help rebelling against me, or learning to talk back to me etc :P  Anyway, but the second thing was the story got a little weird and a little witchy/conjuring-uppity (I just love making up words LOL)  I know, I know...a little fantasy never hurt anyone...Tolkien...yada yada.  Again, not too bad and I do love the Celtic culture, the strong women theme, the loving bond promoted........and I did cry thinking of my girls.  Wanting to "be there" for them and really "listen" to them, and let them be themselves.  Aside from that, I think it was well done.  I love 3D, but not sure it was totally necessary in this one.  Jillian says of course it was, but about the only thing in need of it was the growling bear I guess.  The little "minions" in one of the preview thingies actually had the BEST 3D thingie I'd ever seen LOL...blowing the little paper party thingie.  :P  It came right out at us! (Can't wait for the second Despicable Me, btw!!  2013 woohoo!)  So anyhoo, yeh...a good time was had by all, and then after the movie, we went to one of our fav places: the bookstore.  I think I've switched back to liking BAM more than B&N now after so many years....they have a lot more cheap junk available :P  I got a little something for each kid with the B2G1free deal on already marked down books.  My personal fav was the Children's Science Encyclopedia :P  Awesomeness.   So here are a few pics to enjoy (used my cool Instaframe and Instagram apps, like Cari talks about here ), and tomorrow it's swimming!  Last day of vacation, though, wahhhh!  Some "vacation" eh?  More about that in my 7 Quick Takes....

Brave

What Two Wild-Haired Princesses Taught Me About Parenting | The Dsh with Tsh
I am soooo glad I woke up this morning to this in my inbox.  The girls and I are going to see this tonight.  Now I am prepared for the boohooing I am going to do...especially as I think about J sitting next to me,  in her tshirt and jeans :)  ...her hair is no longer tangled, but there are no bows and pearls really.  Favorite color of blue,  loves playing basketball, and the sidewalk chalk and fort in the living room thing:  that's my girl. :)

Firecracker firecracker, boom boom boom!

So Happy 4th to everyone!  We celebrate our freedom in this great nation, as we celebrate it's birthday.    We were blessed with good food and good family time (ribs, watermelon and homemade ice cream were my favs :)  But it seems daily our freedoms are being taken away.  I will save that for another post though.  Just wanted to show you what I look, or at least FEEL like when my children are shooting firecrackers in the driveway with their father :P  LOL  

Basically, I grew up w/ NO FIRECRACKERS and NO EXPERIENCE holding or playing with FIRE! :P  Doug was PLAYING with M80s when he was a little boy, blowing up who knows what.  But, alas, once again, my kids had a grand ol' time, and they came out totally unscathed, and even Mariam was unafraid this year and held sparklers.  I'm glad they have fun...I'm glad Doug knows what he's doing...I just kinda wish I could bury my head in the sand until it's over :D   So, does your family play with fire...er, I mean pop firecrackers (fireworks, whatever you call them, ...)  

P.S.  The subject heading is another one of those things our family does, along w/ the singing...cute little phrases...over and over and over....sometimes because it's stuck in our head, sometimes because it's fun to annoy LOL  It's easy to get Mariam going "Firecracker, firecracker, boom-boom-boom!"  or "Crybaby, crybaby, suck your thumb, wash it down with bubble gum" LOL  Ask Jillian about that and how much she loves to hear Mariam say it 300 times. :)