Saturday, December 12, 2009

new birth blog

did I mention? lol... i'm going to just post birth stuff at this new blog   and just stick to family/life/homeschool/other stuff here :)  WHEN I blog that is :) lolol grrrrr

check this out!

I should say i love melissa and doug stuff.  It's like the "crunchy" infiltrated the "mainstream" LOL We have many of their puzzles and their magnetic calendar (which I wish I could find replacement pieces for!)....I especially want to get the Noah's Ark in honor of Noah.  We shall see....

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Update: Fall '09

well, so far this blog is "oops, sorry, forgot to update" or well, just not keeping up...keep hoping that will change, but for now, to catch it up to date:

Surgery on July 27 went well and while things weren't as bad as they thought it'd be, they were bad enough. I won't go into detail at this point but anyhoo, my recovery went better than expected too. There were yucky days and yucky things about it all and pain ...but overall, it was good. And after the basic 6 weeks of recovery was up, and since...I've been pleasantly shocked at how good I feel. Like a new spring chicken LOL ugh...I hate feeling so good because of a hysterectomy, is what it is. A lot of my brain fog from the past at least 4 yrs, has lifted. Of course, pessimist that I am, I keep waiting for it all to end LOL but not that I am not enjoying it while I can.

Then, Jillian's birthday seemed to zoom by us....she turned 7 and we really never got to have her party (yet another party canceled for illness...happens every year to one or both of them) other than a cake and song w/ family (ha, isn't that all it HAS to be? LOL nooooo, my kids plan their parties ALL YEAR LONG lol)

Also, Micah trained to become an acolyte/altar server at church and Jillian began Sacramental prep. for First Reconciliation and First Communion.  The kids learned tons about art in the art-themed co-op classes this semester.  The kids joined Children's Choir this year and are loving it (micah had a few small solo's in their first performance in October), Doug has had record attendance at Life Teen Nights and he is really enjoying it,  Mariam is really growing and changing (well growing taller, she's still a skinny-minny :) every day, talking more, playing hard, singing and dancing, making animal sounds (her fav. are the moo-cows :) and running w/ her cute little hop, and she still is such a good sleeper and still is very healthy, never sick , ............ oh yes, and forgot to say, our beloved lady dog, Trina, got ran over and it was a terrible terrible loss to our family....and though we weren't sure for a while if we wanted another dog, we did end up getting a new one, a 6mo. old male  basset hound/chihuahua mix named Dexter and he's been a fun addition.  He is so cute and funny and at first he and our cat Snowball seemed arch enemies, but now I think they are only "enemies"  for show LOL  I think they love play-fighting and antagonizing (much like brother and sisters, ahem, do)...but at the end of the day, literally, you will find them both curled up very near each other at the foot of our feet in bed at night LOL  Ahhhhh, loving my pets that I dreamed of as a child LOL

So, once I adjusted to the busiest FAll ever in our little family's life LOL (tons of church activities, including helping doug w/ youth ministry, and dance and soccer and new homeschool group/co=op, and girl scouts and cub scouts and so on and so forth)...I started getting the house organized (our bedroom and bathroom, check....still working on the rest lol) and started writing and getting more involved with various birth activism projects. I will post more on that later hopefully, but I plan to start another blog just for birth issues, and make this one just for my personal stuff/homeschool/kids/blah blah blah.... so that the birth one can be "out" there more and more public and so forth and so on LOL

So, here we are in to November......just had Halloween, which was a blast watching the kids have fun!  But couldn't get organized nor organize the Catholic homeschool moms to do an All Saints' party LOL  One day ( but bless Pam's heart, who had her preemie baby boy due to a previa...i took her a meal, and hope to again) And Doug turned 38 :) and got what he wanted for his b'day, a Bama win! lol

And we are hoping to get a new business (for us, but a long time established one by uncle) going soon ....soon, which would be on the side for doug and I'd do the paperwork for. Money is still really tight, and we 're not sure yet if we are going to make it to Shreveport for our annual Thanksgiving trip.  But if we don't, the kids might ring our necks :)  They've been talking about it for months. LOL   So we'll see....

Other things to come:  starting an ICAN chapter for our area, participating more in the local birth community (BirthNetwork meetings, etc), writing articles and helping w/ BA/BAC, tons of homeschooling catch-up work, fun stuff w/ the homeschool group like Field Day, Farm Day, and Christmas Party, youth activities at church, and several other Advent/Saints'feast days/Christmas parties and activities, and of course Noah's day ..his 4th ( i bought some noah's ark plates and napkins and plan our usual blue balloons and cake), and who knows what else LOLOL.....(btw, i say LOL a lot in my online typing/writing's my nervous giggle :P think, betty rubble ..heehee)  So here is my journal, post. LOL isn't that all this is for me, a place to put a synposis of what i've done...what I already told everyone on email and facebook LOL ? :P  Well, maybe one day I'll have something REALLY important to say ...just wait and stay tuned...ha! lol (and what's really funny is that the only ones who'll read this are the ones who know all of this already, via "email and facebook" and so on LOL...I guess I am typing all of this out for my love of talking about myself LOL and for "in case" in the future anyone who doesn't know can read back thru and get to know us or what we do, our family, etc.....I guess I need to learn to just blog an article I like, or about our homeschooling day or whatever, oh and add pics! lol)  okay, going to bed now..... :P

Monday, July 13, 2009

Way behind..

obviously LOL Mainly because I'm constantly overwhelmed these days. Summer is supposed to be slower right? But I'm supposed to be decluttering and preparing for my surgery, ugh. Plus we have had a lot of activities, some illness, etc.

Tomorrow I go for my pre-op appt's w/ the doctors and I need to make a long list of questions to ask them, but just don't know what all to ask. ugh. So much to think about.

Surgery is July 27th. fun fun. More soon hopefully....

CUTE give-a-way!

Pam blogged about this at

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Ooops, here i am again!

Well, heck, get used to it...i'm a disorganized forgetful procrastinating mommy-brain night owl overwhelmed (etc etc) mom :P (and yes i forgot commas lol) I knew I'd let the blog go, but i am :P And here's my thoughts for tonight: it's Sunday night, 11:30 pm and i just got baby layed down for the night (my fault it takes this long, i'll explain some other time lol...) and I really want us to start going to Mass at 10 am again on Sunday's. But dog gone it, i'm tired (long day, A-day game, I'll explain later maybe i keep forgetting to take my iron and am still anemic, grr) and usually am, and it's hard enough for me to get up on regular days and get going in the mornings, much less GO anywhere. (yeh yeh, big joke on both sides of the family lol) Okay, I used to argue myself..well if you can get up and go to XYZ (doctor appt, bible study, exercise, shopping, school, wherever..) then you can get up on Sunday morning and go to church for God. It's true. (like i tell the kids, for all that God does for us, we can give him at least ONE HOUR of our BEST per week, geesh lol) And of course, it was always a beef with my mother lol. She made it, in her mind, so much harder than i thought it had to be to get up and get ready for church. The hair and makeup, the dress, the stinkin' pantyhose (evil creation)....all vanity. ugh. I'm a cross between yes, look your best/women wear dresses to your ankles and "come as you are", because at least you are there and God doesn't care. Well, don't come as you are if you are in a mini skirt and tank top, cover up! :) (another post another time lol) But really... let's not be vain.'re not *that* vain (er, i am more than others :P grr) fact, i wonder if we're secretly known as the Wrinkled Chubby family behind our backs. LOL Most of the time, I think our clothes are probably wrinkled (grr, i hate to iron, sigh) and of course shirts are untucked because it's so much more comfortable (and feels like it LOOKS better) on chubby people and hair is half combed, if combed at all (grr, i am NO good w/ poor Jillian's tangled thick curly hair, sigh) Anyway, so okay I always told my mom, prepare the night before, or even days in advance....ahahahahhaha! yeh right. Ok, so, so far tonight, i've located a dress for jillian to wear, but no socks or tights (and assuming she knows where her church sandles are, usually we look for shoes the minute we're supposed to be walking out the door), and dress pants for Micah, but no shirt and no shoes, and pants/polo for doug but no black socks, skirt/blouse possibly for me if I can decide lol (but should shave my legs i suppose, grr, why am I not a hippy on this? why am I bound to this societal norm? LOL well, bound to it if i wear a skirt/shorts/ swimsuit in public, but not in the winter/with pants/for husband LOLOL :P ), and i think i know where the dress i'd want baby to wear is..... this means a lot left to do in the hour i will have in the morning, since kids get up around 8 am and are my alarm clock and i'm no good at getting up before lol and we'd need to leave between 9 and 9:30...seems like a lot of time, but again, we're not just throwing on jeans breakfast,....ugh... as usual, though i haven't given up yet, I am assuming we'll be going to the 5pm Mass :P Right when the storms predicted will probably show up, grr. We'll see....

And yes, I said "chubby"...a whole other issue I want to say some things about ..but now, it has taken me 2 hours to write this and I MUST go to bed and hope I can get up and do the above in the morning and hope that Mariam doesn't wake at 5a.m again like the past two nights...

onward and upward! LOL

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Funny--Bill O'reilly on Letterman

The Cesarean Awareness Ribbon debuted in April of 2004 for Cesarean Awareness Month. The burgundy color of the ribbons represents birth and the wearing of the ribbon upside down symbolizes the state of distress many pregnant women find themselves in when their birthing choices are limited. The loop of the inverted ribbon represents a pregnant belly and the tails are the arms of a woman outstretched in a cry for help.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Well, up late as usual :) and if I had half a brain, I might be able to put down some intelligent ponderings on turning 34 today. LOL I don't know... 34 doesn't seem like a monumental age. But it is good to be alive another year, after surviving a near-death experience 3+ years ago. I suppose I could use the well over-used word, "surreal", to describe how I feel about being this age and the experiences I've had so far in my life. Maybe "neat" (LOL) to describe living the age and the life I dreamed of growing up, that seemed SO far off in to the future, and I feared might not even ever come to be...having a wonderful family of my own who loves me. But with some grief and loss I hadn't hoped for, too. With unexpected surprises. With unexpected smiles and laughter. With unexpected love and joy. So much. Too much to think about right now...but I do feel pretty good about 34. And not a single gray hair (right now) because I take it so nice and easy :P LOL shhhhh!

Words of Encouragement on Homeschooling

Want to post this before I forget... this is a post on one of my email groups from my dear friend Karla Wiegrefe and I've heard this all many times from her, but it is ALWAYS encouraging to hear, especially coming from a veteran homeschooler :)

Do not feel alone ... so many homeschool moms keep quiet their "secret" of "failure". Most are convinced that everyone else has it together and they are the *only one* who can't:
a) get their schedule straight b) have a clean home c) get their kids to cooperated) get motivated) turn in statement of intents on time)
In being open with my struggles (which is a huge vulnerability), I have discovered that there are sooooo many of us out there. Women who are relieved when they finally hear someone else say these things. Women who love their kids, who are overwhelmed or numb or unsupported or depressed or all of the above. Realizing we are not alone takes off some of the pressure...
What has brought me comfort over the years is a quote I saw long ago from some expert. "The worst run homeschool is better than the best run public school." Yeah it sounds harsh. I'm not sure if it is true in the strictest sense (there are some pretty solid alternative learning style schools out there). But I still keep that quote in my head. And I claim it as my own. "Well, this better be true because I think I qualify for the worst run homeschool." (Intellectually, I know this is not true ... we have many years of radical unschooling, in other words "unschooling by default", under our belts ... but I'd say the worst run homeschool is one where the kids are being kept home for other purposes, like to hide abuse etc and in other words, they are not homeschooling at all but instead simply hiding abuse under the blanket of supposedly homeschooling. NONE of us fall into that mold.).
I've also been known to pray ... that God would know my heart, know what my intentions are, know what my weaknesses and faults are ... and honor my efforts and intentions and make up for what is lacking in me.
Whenever I'm stuck in one of these "bad places", I pick up a smarmy catalog selling clothing to teenagers (I saw one particularly horrifying one a few years ago ... it asked questions throughout the pages ... "Do you like girls or boys?" etc lots of gender homosexual type questions!) Or I watch the latest hot sitcom. Or I rent the movie causing the latest buzz. I see what other kids accept as "normal", what they love. It reminds me that homeschooling is something I'm doing for more than merely academics.
I talk to women who have children in school. I try to pick moms whose kids are a lot like mine ~ the struggling reader, the one diagnosed with ADHD, the brilliant artist, etc. I hear their struggles and triumphs, their frustrations with the school system and how it isn't meeting the needs of their kids, the things they like, etc. Basically, it's about getting real about the entire thing.
And then I look at my own situation through reality lenses ... are things really as bad as they seem? What good things have I seen happen throughout the years? What are the advantages of radical unschooling (because there are some *glorious* ones)? Where are my kids now compared to where they were a year ago?
And conversely ... what would make me feel good about myself as a homeschooler? What is one thing I see that is a small change that I can realistically accomplish? Sometimes it means renting some educational videos from the library or reading a book with my kids once per day or doing a project we can all be proud of (maybe a simple lap book?).
The thing to remember is there is no "right" way to homeschool. This is especially true with the young ones. Many kids are not ready to pursue serious studies until they are a little older. Especially boys. Raymond and Dorothy Moore have some classic homeschooling books including one called _Better Late than Early_ and they talk about studies of kids that show waiting until they are older is often the better choice. Boys are often not ready to dive into homeschooling (especially reading) until they are 10. Consider reading this book. It will probably take a huge weight off your shoulders ...
I think part of it too is we put sooooo much pressure on ourselves to do all these things w/ our homeschool that sometimes we don't get ANY Of it done. What if the only thing you required of yourself was to get your Statement of Intent in? Make up two of them. One for this year and the other for next year (I never did anything that smart, hmmm). Have a holy filing place where it's easy to find and get in by the deadline. I spent years where I didn't get my SOI in until after Christmas (sometimes waaaay after argh). Now we get it in by Oct every year. A miracle!!! Only took us 5 years. :)
Well, the kids are boiling over so I gotta run...

Monday, March 30, 2009

More on "under the rainbow"

So, okay,'s kinda basic. Everything basically is "under the rainbow" LOL And so, that's what I'll be talking about. Some things will be great, my kids and life, homeschooling, my hubby, good things going on in the world, blah blah blah.... but some things are not so good too. From my theological standpoint, there is sin in the world, so of course things are going to be imperfect. But of course, that doesn't mean that we don't strive and push and fight even for there to be more "good" or for things to be better. That's where, perhaps, my advocacy for better birth is going to come in. Plus, my politcal views and the world of politics, if i dare share them LOL But sticking to the birth issue...I don't really have this blog here to have debates w/ "the other side." Not that I'm not game to some of that, but mainly, I just want to share and inform and gab/ramble ;) But the birth issue is more emotional for me than any other issue besides my loss and grief (which is tied to the birth issue, of course.) At least at this point in my life, it still is. My goal and desire is to make birth safer for my daughters. Number one. And number two, so that no one has to go through (keep going through) what I have. I'll repeat the cesarean statistics over and over, so get used to it :) But, the latest numbers ...the c/s rate in the U.S. for 2007 was 31.8 %. The World Health Organization (WHO) has mantained for several years now that the rate for ANY country should be NO HIGHER than 10-15%. That means that at least 1/2 and up to 2/3 of all cesareans performed today in the U.S. are UNNECESSARY. And in the meantime, the maternal mortality rate is climbing. Our infant mortality rate is higher than some 3rd world countries. And, I'm rushing through all of this as a synopsis now, but hope to dwell and post a lot more on all of this, the countries where midwives are used in as much as 7 out of 10 births (and some have 30% homebirth rates too), the c/s rates are the lowest (Holland is around 18% i believe) in the world AND the maternal mortality and infant mortality (neonatal, i think i mean) rates are lowest as well. I want this country to wake up. My Noah died, not because of where I was at the time it occurred, but because before they could rescue him, he was deprived of oxygen from a placental abruption (first, and then a concurrent uterine rupture, according to pathology)...........and I almost died/had to be revived.....all because of two previous (or at the very least one..the first) very unnecessary c-sections. I'll explain more about each later and why they were unnecessary or not. And I'll try to get through talking more about my pregnancy and birth with Noah eventually. I'll be sharing lots of articles and studies and stories from other women, mothers. Every mother has a story to tell....bare with me, mine is kind of long...well, I'll be long-winded about it :) ...this is a passion for me.

More on "Blog Charter"

whatever that is LOL I am such a blog dunce :P but anyhoo, did want to explain "under the rainbow".... it's where we are as opposed to where Noah is :) I had to restart my blog, but before, I had a pic of the blue balloons we released on his birthday (a tradition now) and said "Somewhere Under the rainbow...where blue balloons fly.." :) although, of course, those blue balloons fly up to him in heaven, just as Micah and Jillian imagine they do :) But this pic of the rainbow was a HUGE gorgeous rainbow we saw on the way to Dothan last year and I got pics of both sides of it, left and right. It was the biggest I'd seen and I don't know that I've ever seen a whole one like that before. So, here we are, our under the rainbow, until that day we can join Noah, somewhere OVER the rainbow :) For those who might not know about our Noah, go here: I really need to update it though. I need to talk to him, add some song lyrics, add a note about Mammaw, and pics of his little sis Mariam :) much more to come, stay tuned...


well, i'd hoped to type up something cool today (ha!), but things were running hot here instead LOL The fridge was, anyway. ugh. We're wondering if during the storms, lightening did something to it. It is running, but not cooling or freezing. We thought last night maybe the fridge part was still cooling, but nope...everything was really warm I've been tossing all of our food. Wahhh! For those who don't know, Thursday morning last week, we headed to the Martins' (in-laws, or usually noted as the "ILs") to wait out the first round of storms. Better safe than sorry, we say, living in a trailer. The first round wasn't too bad, but a second round was slated to come early Friday morning, so we spent the night. Again, not too terrible, but same thing Friday night... a third round of storms coming early Sat. morning. Only this round was worse. I was up late (as usual) on the computer, over there, and before going to bed, checked the weather. There was a tornado warning in the next county over, west of us, coming straight for us at 50 mph. Ok, I could not go to sleep after that, so I just sat and sat watching the weather. In the end, the tornadoes died down by the time the storm got to us, but there was tons of rain and wind and lightening. We also missed the baseball size hail others' reported, thankfully. But the flooding...."unprecedented" for the Dothan area. For a few hours Saturday, all roads in Geneva County were closed. Many houses had minor flooding. Then by Saturday night, I had the stomach bug going around (Micah, Jillian and Mariam had it last week) we spent another night at the ILs. We finally got back home Sat. evening. Our home was fine. Just part of our dirt road was washed away, but there was room to pass. Could have all been so much worse. We were home a long time before we noticed stuff dripping out of our freezer part of our fridge. Ugh. Everything in it was thawed out and warm...beautiful boneless chicken breasts, a bag of beautiful scallops LOL (yes beautiful :P ), frozen veggies and berries, peas we put up last summer still, several cans of juice, pie crusts..... But okay, so we thought, well, the fridge part still feels a little was too late to go buy ice, we tried un plugging it and replugging it in again, to see if that helped.....couldn't find any reset switch we'll just wait and see. Well, by morning, everything was for sure warm.... 2 dozen eggs, half a gallon of milk, yogurt, cottage cheese, fresh veggies galore (we salvaged some) but the strawberries were getting old anyway and it didn't take long for them to get fuzzy, cheese, a whole hen i was gonna boil, turkey bacon and turkey sausage............wahhhhh! So........that's what I've been doing today...crying over spoiled milk LOL Shannon suggested ...we'll see if we can figure anything out, but I think we'll be calling a repair man........will have to be Thurs. before he can come though. A. the house is a wreck and that's what I'm working on tomorrow, catching up B. then there's Micah's baseball practice tom. night C. Wed. will be a full day of taking Doug to work, shopping for Elem. Youth Night at Church, then taking Mariam for her Check up at the Ped' time for any birthday celebrations LOL but that's okay, being w/ my family IS celebration :) Wow, I might actually like gabbing on a blog like this afterall....i could go on and on. LOL Maybe this will be a good incentive for me to be more organized and consistent with our homeschooling :) Oh btw (by the way), they're predicting storms again tom. night and wed. morning...we may have another night at the ILs, not sure yet...ugh.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

2nd Attempt at a Blog :) and Blog Charter

Okay, maybe I'll really do this this time :) Things I want to blog about: my family and what we are doing, cesarean prevention and activism, ICAN , BA and BAC , homeschooling, adoption, infant loss, uterine rupture, miscarriage, grief, healthy living and diet info, my weight struggle, politics, vaccine research/info, circumcision debate, Catholic issues and theology, and so much more :)