My Tribe? My Job? My Purpose?

I have had an update in draft and been meaning to get back to my blog for many many months.  But I finally just have to get this out there somewhere, and this feels as safe as any place since no one reads it anyway :P When will I find MY "tribe"?  When will I ever find MY purpose and job?  Who am *I* supposed to be?  Yes I am a mother and love my children.  I love being at home....but I also need to work and supplement income.  I love being the wife of a youth minister, and helping w/ all manner of youth ministry, but still never feel like I fit in.  I am a homeschooling mom, but so many years I have been floundering and trying to figure out which direction to go.  And....I don't fit in anywhere :(  I am left out, my children are left out and it hurts.  I don't know what to do about it.  I have been searching for one good friend my whole adult life, beyond my best friend, my hubby.  I mean, a girlfriend with common enough interests to bind us and to be able to talk even with chaos in the background and to drop by and hang out at various times of the week or month or heck, even year.  So of course, I mean "IRL" or locally.  Because I have a myriad of wonderful ladies "online" who've been there for me for years.  And maybe that's why I didn't push too hard years ago to get out and go make friends.  But in every "group" I am ever a part of, I am the outsider.  Outside of the inside jokes, left out of invitations, and just....left wondering what is it about me or my family?  Why?  Or why not us?  Are we too busy and just turned down one too many previous invitations?  Were we too loud or unruly?  Is it because of our ties in ministry?  Am I too hippie?  Or not hippie enough? I just don't know.  But it feels like my years of public education all over again.  And I don't want that for my very outgoing children. :(  If there is anyone reading this, could you say a little prayer for me.  Thanks.

Needed this

finding joy: dear sweet mom who feels like she is failing.

The married priest ~ Anglican Patrimony

The married priest ~ Anglican Patrimony:

'via Blog this'

Thoughts from our friend :)

You Know You're NOT a Serious Blogger When....

You can't keep up during the chaotic turns and dips of life. As long as everything is going along FAIRLY normal and routinely, you can post tidbits and stories and pics. But throw a little life crisis or a major move in there and poof....gone. lol. Seriously, some of my fav bloggers just blog their way through pregnancies and births and illness and husbands overseas.... Oh well...one day I shall return. For now I will just let my eyes glaze over as I watch my 1000th episode of House Hunters on cable tv :) Aaahhhh it's soooo relaxing ...hear that? Ding dong LOL....... News and event posts coming soon though :) Nite!

Overheard....

At the thrift shop, on a Saturday morn:

"Have you heard about that new popular book...50 shades of something?"

"No."

"Well....it's not really...a..book you'd recommend."

"Why?"

"It's like porn."

"Ooh I need that."

!!  Lol gah!  Two older ladies.  

No time for Quick takes but...

WOW...did not know I never posted this, darn it!  Well, here is a draft from last week :)

I give u two funs from this otherwise busy and stressful week :)

I thought it was so cute, when after Mariam found my mother's old glasses from when she was a child (they were in their original case in the draw of my grandmother's sewig machine that I inherited :)  circa late 1930s/early '40s) she put them on.  Gonna have to show Grandmama :)


laughing at herself LOL:



And, as I posted on Facebook, it is a wonderful, relaxing feeling when your daughters brush your hair :) and "play" with it.  Jillian is getting good at braids, and was braiding one side while Mariam brushed the other.  Then the first pic is Mariam taking a pic and the second is Jillian's pic :)  I must say, I love my braid and need to get her to braid it like that every day LOL I just usually do me ol' quick-in-a-bun with a scrunchy to get out the door and stay cool LOL  Yes, I know it's nearly as if I had short hair.  BUT....there's an obvious dfference to me, and I do not look good w/ short hair.  So, as long as I am poor and only doing once a year or twice a year hair cuts, this is my style :P  Deal with it LOL As dear Mama-in-law once said, "we're just low maintenence kinda girls" LOL






So, the thing that is keeping me so busy and stressed is, as I've mentioned, us moving quickly out of our rental and in with the In-Law's to help take care of them.  We were so pleasantly shocked this morning when he was released from the hospital.  He will have home health care and rehab but his new "normal" is a much weaker man.  And he and MIL need alot of help.  Hopefully we will be able to meet all their extra needs.  Pray for us! 

Update and All Aboard!

I have no time for blogging right now.  Life has been going FULL STEAM AHEAD with no stops. I get up between 7 and 7:30 a.m. and cook breakfast, do any dishes or cleaning I need to, make sure Pawpaw does his blood sugar and takes his pills, run any errands, throw in a load of laundry, get lunch going/prepared, then am still working on getting our clothes and things organized and put away so that we have our own space in our rooms of the house, then start preparing supper, then do dishes and clean kitchen, and fall into bed by midnightish. Nephews have been around since school is still out for summer, so all the food prep/cleaning is doubled.  And I haven't put together a chore chart to get the kids helping yet, other than Micah taking out trash.  So SUPER BUSY.  This is all since Tuesday, since until then we were still cleaning and packing at the old house.  I have been so exhausted but proud of myself (and thankful for the grace) for adjusting to our new normal.  Had some commitments at church and our first Frontier Girl's meeting (woohoo) and got all of our address change and moving errands done. I had felt like I was losing weight, but may be reverting back to old stress-handling ways...need to reassess our eating/exercise habits and (Virtual 5K? huh? what's that? :P sigh...) ....well frankly my next goals are working on the home school plan and our new schedule, which includes chore charts, exercise goals, and eating.  So...I gots a lots to do LOL

For now, Father-in-law is doing great...home health care and PT comes nearly every day.  He gets outside in the sun a few times a day for some fresh air w/ his new wheely-walker LOL  His little buddy has to join him:

When he gets ready to walk somewhere, he calls out "All Aboard!" and wherever she is, whatever she is doing, she comes running and hops on the seat on his walker, usually on her knees, sometimes w/ her goggles on LOL....and she does her arm, and yells "Choo choo!"  It is so cute, I really need to get video.  Then she says "you're my best pawpaw in the world!  you're my best friend!" :)  


Anyhoo... hope to post that home school plan and chore chart plan soon... off to a canoe trip tomorrow, or at least transporting kids and teens to it.... Be Blessed! :) (I love when I hear a cashier or some stranger in a store say that to me....is that only in the South?  I wonder...)