obviously LOL Mainly because I'm constantly overwhelmed these days. Summer is supposed to be slower right? But I'm supposed to be decluttering and preparing for my surgery, ugh. Plus we have had a lot of activities, some illness, etc.
Tomorrow I go for my pre-op appt's w/ the doctors and I need to make a long list of questions to ask them, but just don't know what all to ask. ugh. So much to think about.
Surgery is July 27th. fun fun. More soon hopefully....
Monday, July 13, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Ooops, here i am again!
Well, heck, get used to it...i'm a disorganized forgetful procrastinating mommy-brain night owl overwhelmed (etc etc) mom :P (and yes i forgot commas lol) I knew I'd let the blog go, but eh..here i am :P And here's my thoughts for tonight:
Okay...so it's Sunday night, 11:30 pm and i just got baby layed down for the night (my fault it takes this long, i'll explain some other time lol...) and I really want us to start going to Mass at 10 am again on Sunday's. But dog gone it, i'm tired (long day, A-day game, I'll explain later maybe lol...plus i keep forgetting to take my iron and am still anemic, grr) and usually am, and it's hard enough for me to get up on regular days and get going in the mornings, much less GO anywhere. (yeh yeh, big joke on both sides of the family lol) Okay, I used to argue myself..well if you can get up and go to XYZ (doctor appt, bible study, exercise, shopping, school, wherever..) then you can get up on Sunday morning and go to church for God. It's true. (like i tell the kids, for all that God does for us, we can give him at least ONE HOUR of our BEST per week, geesh lol) And of course, it was always a beef with my mother lol. She made it, in her mind, so much harder than i thought it had to be to get up and get ready for church. The hair and makeup, the dress, the stinkin' pantyhose (evil creation)....all vanity. ugh. I'm a cross between yes, look your best/women wear dresses to your ankles and "come as you are", because at least you are there and God doesn't care. Well, don't come as you are if you are in a mini skirt and tank top, cover up! :) (another post another time lol) But really... let's not be vain. Okay....so....we're not *that* vain (er, i am more than others :P grr)...in fact, i wonder if we're secretly known as the Wrinkled Chubby family behind our backs. LOL Most of the time, I think our clothes are probably wrinkled (grr, i hate to iron, sigh) and of course shirts are untucked because it's so much more comfortable (and feels like it LOOKS better) on chubby people and hair is half combed, if combed at all (grr, i am NO good w/ poor Jillian's tangled thick curly hair, sigh) Anyway, so okay okay...like I always told my mom, prepare the night before, or even days in advance....ahahahahhaha! yeh right. Ok, so, so far tonight, i've located a dress for jillian to wear, but no socks or tights (and assuming she knows where her church sandles are, usually we look for shoes the minute we're supposed to be walking out the door), and dress pants for Micah, but no shirt and no shoes, and pants/polo for doug but no black socks, skirt/blouse possibly for me if I can decide lol (but should shave my legs i suppose, grr, why am I not a hippy on this? why am I bound to this societal norm? LOL well, bound to it if i wear a skirt/shorts/ swimsuit in public, but not in the winter/with pants/for husband LOLOL :P ), and i think i know where the dress i'd want baby to wear is..... this means a lot left to do in the hour i will have in the morning, since kids get up around 8 am and are my alarm clock and i'm no good at getting up before lol and we'd need to leave between 9 and 9:30...seems like a lot of time, but again, we're not just throwing on jeans here...plus breakfast,....ugh... as usual, though i haven't given up yet, I am assuming we'll be going to the 5pm Mass :P Right when the storms predicted will probably show up, grr. We'll see....
And yes, I said "chubby"...a whole other issue I want to say some things about ..but now, it has taken me 2 hours to write this and I MUST go to bed and hope I can get up and do the above in the morning and hope that Mariam doesn't wake at 5a.m again like the past two nights...
onward and upward! LOL
Okay...so it's Sunday night, 11:30 pm and i just got baby layed down for the night (my fault it takes this long, i'll explain some other time lol...) and I really want us to start going to Mass at 10 am again on Sunday's. But dog gone it, i'm tired (long day, A-day game, I'll explain later maybe lol...plus i keep forgetting to take my iron and am still anemic, grr) and usually am, and it's hard enough for me to get up on regular days and get going in the mornings, much less GO anywhere. (yeh yeh, big joke on both sides of the family lol) Okay, I used to argue myself..well if you can get up and go to XYZ (doctor appt, bible study, exercise, shopping, school, wherever..) then you can get up on Sunday morning and go to church for God. It's true. (like i tell the kids, for all that God does for us, we can give him at least ONE HOUR of our BEST per week, geesh lol) And of course, it was always a beef with my mother lol. She made it, in her mind, so much harder than i thought it had to be to get up and get ready for church. The hair and makeup, the dress, the stinkin' pantyhose (evil creation)....all vanity. ugh. I'm a cross between yes, look your best/women wear dresses to your ankles and "come as you are", because at least you are there and God doesn't care. Well, don't come as you are if you are in a mini skirt and tank top, cover up! :) (another post another time lol) But really... let's not be vain. Okay....so....we're not *that* vain (er, i am more than others :P grr)...in fact, i wonder if we're secretly known as the Wrinkled Chubby family behind our backs. LOL Most of the time, I think our clothes are probably wrinkled (grr, i hate to iron, sigh) and of course shirts are untucked because it's so much more comfortable (and feels like it LOOKS better) on chubby people and hair is half combed, if combed at all (grr, i am NO good w/ poor Jillian's tangled thick curly hair, sigh) Anyway, so okay okay...like I always told my mom, prepare the night before, or even days in advance....ahahahahhaha! yeh right. Ok, so, so far tonight, i've located a dress for jillian to wear, but no socks or tights (and assuming she knows where her church sandles are, usually we look for shoes the minute we're supposed to be walking out the door), and dress pants for Micah, but no shirt and no shoes, and pants/polo for doug but no black socks, skirt/blouse possibly for me if I can decide lol (but should shave my legs i suppose, grr, why am I not a hippy on this? why am I bound to this societal norm? LOL well, bound to it if i wear a skirt/shorts/ swimsuit in public, but not in the winter/with pants/for husband LOLOL :P ), and i think i know where the dress i'd want baby to wear is..... this means a lot left to do in the hour i will have in the morning, since kids get up around 8 am and are my alarm clock and i'm no good at getting up before lol and we'd need to leave between 9 and 9:30...seems like a lot of time, but again, we're not just throwing on jeans here...plus breakfast,....ugh... as usual, though i haven't given up yet, I am assuming we'll be going to the 5pm Mass :P Right when the storms predicted will probably show up, grr. We'll see....
And yes, I said "chubby"...a whole other issue I want to say some things about ..but now, it has taken me 2 hours to write this and I MUST go to bed and hope I can get up and do the above in the morning and hope that Mariam doesn't wake at 5a.m again like the past two nights...
onward and upward! LOL
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The Cesarean Awareness Ribbon debuted in April of 2004 for Cesarean Awareness Month. The burgundy color of the ribbons represents birth and the wearing of the ribbon upside down symbolizes the state of distress many pregnant women find themselves in when their birthing choices are limited. The loop of the inverted ribbon represents a pregnant belly and the tails are the arms of a woman outstretched in a cry for help.
www.ican-online.org
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
34
Well, up late as usual :) and if I had half a brain, I might be able to put down some intelligent ponderings on turning 34 today. LOL I don't know... 34 doesn't seem like a monumental age. But it is good to be alive another year, after surviving a near-death experience 3+ years ago. I suppose I could use the well over-used word, "surreal", to describe how I feel about being this age and the experiences I've had so far in my life. Maybe "neat" (LOL) to describe living the age and the life I dreamed of growing up, that seemed SO far off in to the future, and I feared might not even ever come to be...having a wonderful family of my own who loves me. But with some grief and loss I hadn't hoped for, too. With unexpected surprises. With unexpected smiles and laughter. With unexpected love and joy. So much. Too much to think about right now...but I do feel pretty good about 34. And not a single gray hair (right now) because I take it so nice and easy :P LOL shhhhh!
Words of Encouragement on Homeschooling
Want to post this before I forget... this is a post on one of my email groups from my dear friend Karla Wiegrefe and I've heard this all many times from her, but it is ALWAYS encouraging to hear, especially coming from a veteran homeschooler :)
------------
Do not feel alone ... so many homeschool moms keep quiet their "secret" of "failure". Most are convinced that everyone else has it together and they are the *only one* who can't:
a) get their schedule straight b) have a clean home c) get their kids to cooperated) get motivated) turn in statement of intents on time)
In being open with my struggles (which is a huge vulnerability), I have discovered that there are sooooo many of us out there. Women who are relieved when they finally hear someone else say these things. Women who love their kids, who are overwhelmed or numb or unsupported or depressed or all of the above. Realizing we are not alone takes off some of the pressure...
What has brought me comfort over the years is a quote I saw long ago from some expert. "The worst run homeschool is better than the best run public school." Yeah it sounds harsh. I'm not sure if it is true in the strictest sense (there are some pretty solid alternative learning style schools out there). But I still keep that quote in my head. And I claim it as my own. "Well, this better be true because I think I qualify for the worst run homeschool." (Intellectually, I know this is not true ... we have many years of radical unschooling, in other words "unschooling by default", under our belts ... but I'd say the worst run homeschool is one where the kids are being kept home for other purposes, like to hide abuse etc and in other words, they are not homeschooling at all but instead simply hiding abuse under the blanket of supposedly homeschooling. NONE of us fall into that mold.).
I've also been known to pray ... that God would know my heart, know what my intentions are, know what my weaknesses and faults are ... and honor my efforts and intentions and make up for what is lacking in me.
Whenever I'm stuck in one of these "bad places", I pick up a smarmy catalog selling clothing to teenagers (I saw one particularly horrifying one a few years ago ... it asked questions throughout the pages ... "Do you like girls or boys?" etc lots of gender homosexual type questions!) Or I watch the latest hot sitcom. Or I rent the movie causing the latest buzz. I see what other kids accept as "normal", what they love. It reminds me that homeschooling is something I'm doing for more than merely academics.
I talk to women who have children in school. I try to pick moms whose kids are a lot like mine ~ the struggling reader, the one diagnosed with ADHD, the brilliant artist, etc. I hear their struggles and triumphs, their frustrations with the school system and how it isn't meeting the needs of their kids, the things they like, etc. Basically, it's about getting real about the entire thing.
And then I look at my own situation through reality lenses ... are things really as bad as they seem? What good things have I seen happen throughout the years? What are the advantages of radical unschooling (because there are some *glorious* ones)? Where are my kids now compared to where they were a year ago?
And conversely ... what would make me feel good about myself as a homeschooler? What is one thing I see that is a small change that I can realistically accomplish? Sometimes it means renting some educational videos from the library or reading a book with my kids once per day or doing a project we can all be proud of (maybe a simple lap book?).
The thing to remember is there is no "right" way to homeschool. This is especially true with the young ones. Many kids are not ready to pursue serious studies until they are a little older. Especially boys. Raymond and Dorothy Moore have some classic homeschooling books including one called _Better Late than Early_ and they talk about studies of kids that show waiting until they are older is often the better choice. Boys are often not ready to dive into homeschooling (especially reading) until they are 10. Consider reading this book. It will probably take a huge weight off your shoulders ...
I think part of it too is we put sooooo much pressure on ourselves to do all these things w/ our homeschool that sometimes we don't get ANY Of it done. What if the only thing you required of yourself was to get your Statement of Intent in? Make up two of them. One for this year and the other for next year (I never did anything that smart, hmmm). Have a holy filing place where it's easy to find and get in by the deadline. I spent years where I didn't get my SOI in until after Christmas (sometimes waaaay after argh). Now we get it in by Oct every year. A miracle!!! Only took us 5 years. :)
Well, the kids are boiling over so I gotta run...
~Karla
------------
Do not feel alone ... so many homeschool moms keep quiet their "secret" of "failure". Most are convinced that everyone else has it together and they are the *only one* who can't:
a) get their schedule straight b) have a clean home c) get their kids to cooperated) get motivated) turn in statement of intents on time)
In being open with my struggles (which is a huge vulnerability), I have discovered that there are sooooo many of us out there. Women who are relieved when they finally hear someone else say these things. Women who love their kids, who are overwhelmed or numb or unsupported or depressed or all of the above. Realizing we are not alone takes off some of the pressure...
What has brought me comfort over the years is a quote I saw long ago from some expert. "The worst run homeschool is better than the best run public school." Yeah it sounds harsh. I'm not sure if it is true in the strictest sense (there are some pretty solid alternative learning style schools out there). But I still keep that quote in my head. And I claim it as my own. "Well, this better be true because I think I qualify for the worst run homeschool." (Intellectually, I know this is not true ... we have many years of radical unschooling, in other words "unschooling by default", under our belts ... but I'd say the worst run homeschool is one where the kids are being kept home for other purposes, like to hide abuse etc and in other words, they are not homeschooling at all but instead simply hiding abuse under the blanket of supposedly homeschooling. NONE of us fall into that mold.).
I've also been known to pray ... that God would know my heart, know what my intentions are, know what my weaknesses and faults are ... and honor my efforts and intentions and make up for what is lacking in me.
Whenever I'm stuck in one of these "bad places", I pick up a smarmy catalog selling clothing to teenagers (I saw one particularly horrifying one a few years ago ... it asked questions throughout the pages ... "Do you like girls or boys?" etc lots of gender homosexual type questions!) Or I watch the latest hot sitcom. Or I rent the movie causing the latest buzz. I see what other kids accept as "normal", what they love. It reminds me that homeschooling is something I'm doing for more than merely academics.
I talk to women who have children in school. I try to pick moms whose kids are a lot like mine ~ the struggling reader, the one diagnosed with ADHD, the brilliant artist, etc. I hear their struggles and triumphs, their frustrations with the school system and how it isn't meeting the needs of their kids, the things they like, etc. Basically, it's about getting real about the entire thing.
And then I look at my own situation through reality lenses ... are things really as bad as they seem? What good things have I seen happen throughout the years? What are the advantages of radical unschooling (because there are some *glorious* ones)? Where are my kids now compared to where they were a year ago?
And conversely ... what would make me feel good about myself as a homeschooler? What is one thing I see that is a small change that I can realistically accomplish? Sometimes it means renting some educational videos from the library or reading a book with my kids once per day or doing a project we can all be proud of (maybe a simple lap book?).
The thing to remember is there is no "right" way to homeschool. This is especially true with the young ones. Many kids are not ready to pursue serious studies until they are a little older. Especially boys. Raymond and Dorothy Moore have some classic homeschooling books including one called _Better Late than Early_ and they talk about studies of kids that show waiting until they are older is often the better choice. Boys are often not ready to dive into homeschooling (especially reading) until they are 10. Consider reading this book. It will probably take a huge weight off your shoulders ...
I think part of it too is we put sooooo much pressure on ourselves to do all these things w/ our homeschool that sometimes we don't get ANY Of it done. What if the only thing you required of yourself was to get your Statement of Intent in? Make up two of them. One for this year and the other for next year (I never did anything that smart, hmmm). Have a holy filing place where it's easy to find and get in by the deadline. I spent years where I didn't get my SOI in until after Christmas (sometimes waaaay after argh). Now we get it in by Oct every year. A miracle!!! Only took us 5 years. :)
Well, the kids are boiling over so I gotta run...
~Karla
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